The Token Yank: A Day at the Beach... With Donkeys

England... You've gone too far.

Driving on the left side of the road? Sure.

Referring to French fries as "chips" and chips as "crisps"? Fine, do you.

The fact that you actually pronounce it "tomAHto"? I won't bat an eye.

But this weekend, I have discovered something for which you will never be forgiven.

BEACH DONKEYS

"But Joseph!" you cry with horror, "What in God's name is a beach donkey?!"

Well faithful reader (mom-- who are we kidding?), apparently everyone in England thinks this is a completely normal thing that just happens when you go to the beach. There are people literally just standing with donkeys for children to take rides on. On the beach. I'd really love to sit at the meeting of the fine person who created this tradition.

"Hello Rupert. what can we do to make people's beach experience more pleasant?"

"Well Nigel, people love riding waves at the beach. So you know what else they'd probably love to ride? DONKEYS."

Apparently beach donkey rides (just read that a few times and try to make it sound acceptable in your head) are meant for young children, typically under 10. So naturally I went up to the women and their donkeys and asked if I was allowed to take a ride. I was too big, but they were kind enough to let me take quite a few photos with them!

They call me "The Donkey Whisperer"

"Don't eat my ice cream, ass!"

In NORMAL beach fashion, I had a nice ice cream cone with my friends while we walked along the beach (on our FEET, not on our DONKEYS). I also sang them The Flavors Song, and it made me miss my Showplace family.

So here are some fun photos from my beach day. And when you're at your Atlantic/ Pacific Ocean beaches this summer, just think--how would a donkey enhance my beach-going experience? If you think of an answer, please let me know.